I've spent the morning looking at websites that have affirmations for bringing more money into your life. The affirmations are uplifting and better than reciting just negative things about money.

But it's hard to work past two decades of unhealthy attitudes towards money just in a morning.

What I'm trying to do with this blog is use my writing to tell the history of my attitude toward money, as best as I can remember, as I work towards bringing more money into my life.

I live a solidly middle-class life, looking at just my income, where I live, and my attitudes toward the world. But i've reached the point in my life where I wake up almost every morning with a stark dread of the bills I have to pay and the lack of money I face in paying them.

This didn't happen overnight. But it happened almost from the beginning of my adult life.

My starting point will be the day I graduated from college, 25 or so years ago. I remember standing in my apartment in my cap and gown, almost walking out the door to my graduation, when I got a phone call from my bank.

My rent check had bounced.

This was my first, but not my last, bounced check.